


James is an Entrepreneur Now, Huh?

by WoozleBucket



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Explicit Language, FakeHaus, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoozleBucket/pseuds/WoozleBucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says in the title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	James is an Entrepreneur Now, Huh?

**Author's Note:**

> New fandom!

It all started when Adam, Bruce, and James were playing a shitty restaurant simulator. Being the conservator he is, Adam immediately blew all of the character’s money on useless furniture. Soon all he could afford was a bucket. A fucking bucket. 

“Maybe if we jack up the prices, we’ll get our money back!” Adam reasoned. As he upped the price of mineral water several hundred dollars, Bruce grumbled. He hated restaurants overcharging. In fact, he was still wanted, as was James for being his co-conspirator, for blowing up some fancy-ass French place back in Liberty City.

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” James said. Then he had a brilliant idea. “Hey, Adam?”

“Yeah?”

 

“Could you buy that bucket?”

“But then we can’t hire anybody,” Bruce protested. 

“Fuck those guys. My idea will make this guy rich!”

Adam bought the bucket with the last of the money. “Now what?”

“Put it in the lady’s room.”

Adam and Bruce shared a look.

“This is my greatest idea yet!” James proudly said. “It’s a tampon bucket!”

Immediately Bruce started laughing. “That fuck is a tampon bucket?!”

“A bucket for used tampons, duh!” James explained, looking at Bruce like he was stupid. 

“I get it,” Adam realized. “We can charge, like, twenty bucks for chicks to put a used tampon in the bucket. James, you’re a genius!”

“Trust me, I know,” James humbly stated.

“I don’t think that’s how restaurants work, guys,” Bruce wheezed, doubling over in his spot on Lawrence’s couch. But he made no effort to stop the newest addition to the place.

Tomato Au Greatin closed fifteen minutes later.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Nobody expected the joke to live on, but live on it did. At every fine establishment Joel dragged the crew to, one of the three (usually James, big surprise) asked whether or not they had any tampon buckets for Elyse. Then the trio got kicked out, but they weren’t complaining. A dinner with Joel making lovey-eyes at the wine and Lawrence tapping away at some weird-ass visual novel on his phone and trying, and failing, to hide his enormous boner every five minutes wasn’t worth staying. Plus, they then had an excuse to get even more shitfaced than usual.

One day, James got back to his and Elyse’s place with fifteen metal buckets and a plan. He went to the Patent Office in the center of town and patented his wonderful invention- Tamponton 6900. By the end of the month, every bar and/or strip club had at least one tampon bucket there. Hell, even McDonald’s and that Starbuck’s knock-off had one. 

James was happy because now he could spread joy to the world through used feminine products. Adam was happy because James was bringing in even more money for the crew. Bruce was happy because it was the funniest fucking thing he had seen since Pluto Nash 3D. Elyse was happy because she finally had a place to put her used tampons. Nobody else really gave a damn. 

And that is how the world turns.

**Author's Note:**

> To answer the title's question, yes, yes he is.
> 
> And as always, I would like to see some comments or critiques, and don't forget that if you really liked this story for some reason, to hit that Kudos button to let me know!
> 
> For now, bye!


End file.
